Been a while since I've updated... haven't had anything special going on around here. We're having the house updated so that we can rent it out, so I've pretty much been stuck at home.

Cheng's birthday passed not too long ago, but we really weren't able to celebrate it since he had work and school. He has a MAJOR crush on Michael Jordan  so I got him some jordan gear. Don't worry darlin', we'll celebrate in June during your "American birthday."

Finally, some good news... I got into the Public Administration Master's program at Fresno State. So yes, I'll be staying in Fresno for another 2 years . At least I spent some independent time in the very beautiful OC. Not to worry, I'll be heading back down there when I'm done, fo' sho! Oh! Cheng got into the Rehabilitation Counseling Master's Program at State too! Yay for him  I'm actually looking forward to going back to school... I really miss it. And since I was only able to get in a year of planning at UCI, I'll be making the most out of the two years to learn absolutely everything I possibly can (about urban planning). Yes, I'm so excited!! Now I'd like to find another internship that'll give me more experience....

Julian's (Jen's bf) party is coming up next weekend too. Kinda excited about that- its a luau theme. Hrm, I guess I'll have to find some kind of Hula outfit? I dunno... never been to one. Not sure I'd feel entirely comfortable wearing coconuts and a grass skirt....

I just hope I don't hear people hassling me to "get drunk." I'm so tired of that... Yes... I don't really drink and I've never been drunk/ buzzed. Shocked? I don't see why a person should be. I really don't believe I have to be drunk to have a good time, or to drown away my sorrows, or whatever those other reasons are... I honestly say what I'm thinking and act the way I feel... why should I have to feel embarrassed about that? Once in a while I'll drink a mixed or a Smirnoff... but seriously people- I don't really need to hear it again... "OMG, you don't drink?? You've never gotten drunk??" No, I haven't- get over it.

Anyway... have I told you how much I love this laptop? I've had the worst laptops EVER... they were always my brother's reject laptops. He'd get the brand new one and I'd get the run down, broken scrap metal. Do you guys remember my first laptop in the dorms?? I think it'd be categorized as an ancient artifact... really. It was laughing stock of the first and second floor... *sigh* But whatever, I LOVE my Vaio :) Thank you, me.

Oh! I finished FFX... it was really sad  I wanted to know the rest of the story so now I'm on to FFX-2! Not very far though- this time I'm going to complete it 100%. Although, it's very different from FFX.... much faster... and more.... girly...

*EDIT: Gah, I feel like crap. My nose is running in a marathon, I sneeze 5 times in a row every 15 minutes... my body feels as if its going against an ocean current, and I'm still doing the dishes, laundry, cleaning, and cooking lunch/ dinner. Dammit, my GRE test is coming up on Wednesday. How the hell am I supposed to do it? People are so paranoid these days I prolly wont be able to bring in a box/ roll of tissues in with me while I take the test. Stupid... 

Hahaha ... OMG I NEED some !!!!

Final Fantasy XII Potion drinks....

I think I'm about half way through Final Fantasy X. I like it  except playing blitzball. I suck...

I can't believe that it's already March. Seriously, time really does go by fast. For now, I'm back in Fresno. I'm not too sure whether I'll be stuck here for a few more months, or a couple more years. I guess it all depends on my course of action. I've been applying for jobs around the San Joaquin area- planning positions, internships, sales, and what not. Anything to help the time go by faster. I'm also applying to some Master's programs- both down south and in the area. I'm still not sure where I want to go, or which program for that matter. Gah... I know, I know... hurry up and pick one right? It's a big decision... and seeing as how unemployment is up I want to make sure I choose the best one for me. So for now, I'm playing both fields, see which ones I land, and which ones I don't. That should make the deciding easier....

So, other big news: we got a new house :) It's really, really nice. Over in the Copper River area. Although, excluding the "Owner's Retreat," the rest of the bedrooms are a bit smaller than what I'm used to, but the house is pretty big! We're still not sure if were going to sell the old house, or rent it out. Debating about the pros and cons of both decisions.... I'm going to really miss this place. Alot of great memories here *wink* The thing is, Copper River is a little farther away from everything... the mall, the main Riverpark area, my honey.... it's going to be a pain in the arse packing all this junk. I'm going to have to head some kind of mass garage sale. We have so much crap, no joke... it would take days to get rid of all this stuff. What makes things worse is that my parents are serious pack rats. We've got stuff dated all the way to the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Haha, and my Dad really dated them- month, day, year, and place. Yes, we are an odd family, you have no idea.

Oh! I bought a laptop today. Hot damn!! Those little suckers are way too expensive!! It's the latest Sony Vaio... been trying to get my hands on a new laptop for YEARS. You all know... I was always, ALWAYS complaining about how retarded my Dell was. Still is... stupid little thing. Any opinions about the Vaios? I have 14 days to return it if I don't like it.

What else?... Adam's back in town for the weekend. Went over to Doug's to play some poker. Yeah, you guys SUCK... next time deal me BETTER HANDS PLEASE!! Had a great time though, Adam sure kicked my ass, watch it next time though. You'll get yours ;) And no splitting me and Cheng up again!! You ruined our Yin and Yang flow, Kang Wang, you stole it from us! My kiss dealt you that Queen... I think half that pot belongs to me!!! You take care when you head back, and keep me updated ya hear??

Old gym habits are back. Cheng's my weight lifting partner  Working a little more on the core, and deltoid/ triceps. Tips anyone? Staying toned is tough when living in Fresno.... and with my family eating every 3 hours.... yeah. I've been getting on their cases too. Craig's lost 15 pounds since I've been back. He's a lot easier to manage than my Dad... he's so hard-headed. My Mom burns everything, my Dad fries everything. I have to cook dinner every night just to keep them away from the kitchen.

Everything nowadays is rushed... it's tough living in an American society and growing up with strict Filipino family traditions. I miss you

Happy Valentine's Day

Its Valentine's Day... a day set aside to celebrate your love for one another. Be it your girlfriend, your boyfriend, husband, wife, mistress, cat, dog, blowup doll, whatever... I've heard alot of opinions about the Valentine holiday- from single people, couples, married couples, "swingers".... Some people say that Valentine's Day is a day made just to make single people feel like shit. To rub it in their faces that, "Yeah, yeah, yeah...I don't have a Valentine- so suck it." Others say that, "Valentine's is over-rated..." which it honestly is. Now a days, people EXPECT to get expensive name brand whatevers.... I mean, there's nothing wrong with getting something nice- but people shouldnt always expect things like that. People now dont really care about meaning.... they care about brands or prices... but whatever. Anyway.... other people say that Valentine's is a bunch of crock... and why does there have to be a specific day to show your love? They say that "you should show the person you love them everyday".... yeah...... y...e........a...h....... people should be showing their loved ones that they love them. But what if, you do have a husband/ wife, or a boyfriend/ girlfriend... whom you love? But that they don't always show you that they do?.... So... you have that special someone.... but they dont show you that they love you.....

......

Maybe Valentine's Day should be for people who do have loved ones, but they never show/ tell them- it's a day that screams... HEY ASSHOLE.... THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO LOVE YOU AND YOU DONT SHOW THEM SHIT!!!! So get yo lazy ass up... and go make passionate, wild-monkey sex to your lover.... maybe not. How about, just realizing that you shouldn't need to have a holiday for you to show your appreciation and love for your loved ones. I hate it when I see people who are taken for granted... I hate it even more when I'm the one taken for granted... Yeah, with all the hyped up advertisement for Valentine's Day, I'm sure it makes the "single" people out there feel like crap.... but you know what? It's worse to have a "Valentine" who doesn't appreciate you....

Do I seem a little bitter?... Naaaaaahh- I just wish.... there are alot of things I wish for.

From a Friend:
Ideas for singles-

1. Take your Mom out for dinner.
2. Get your best friend a gift.
3. Buy some 'Captin, go get drunk with the rest of your single friends.
4. start having a crush on someone new
5. plan to go out of town this weekend.
6. spend the whole night on myspace bitching to your single friends that you NEVER have a valentine.
7. Remember the worst date you were ever on and be thankful that you aren't reliving it tonight.
8. Say hi to all of your friends and remember that people still love you.
9. Pray
10. Go start working out tonight like you should have started on the first of the year... tonight is the perfect night to start.
11. Ask someone who is single to go out tonight... if you need help, I have a list of people.
12. Go buy something you can't afford and tell yourself that it was neccesary for emotional health.
13. Send me an e-mail.

____________________________________________________

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father,
Remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear.

Open our hearts not to just those that are close to us,
but to all humanity.

Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

______________________________________________________

Random Insert #1: Been so stressed lately that I've ended up with my old eating habits I developed when down south. Mix in constant work-outs and gym visits... and you've got a nicely developed bod  Now.... to keep it that way...

Why does it seem like everything is expanding around Fresno. We've got so much development going on around here, seriously at every corner. And most of the projects seem to be office buildings and what not. With all the construction, you'd think Fresno's got it going on...........

NOT! It's all geared towards Chain restaurants, shopping centers, and beauty salons (is that term outdated?... are those the same as spa centers? I wouldn't really know... I don't go to those kinds of places- as odd as it may sound). Not that there's anything wrong with Fresno expanding... its just- even with all the new shops around... the only thing to do is... shop! I like shopping, but I'm not obsessed with it. You can only go to the store an X amount of times with them carrying the same crap for about 2-3 weeks. What else can we really do?.... If people can't shop any more, they go out to eat.

I read an article in the paper about how Fresno is one of the "fattest cities in the nation" Sick. Apparently, people were trying to blame it on the abundance of donut shops. Hah... whatever. Not only doughnuts.... there are tons of fast food places and restaurants. Most of the food being American- heavily fried, battered, etcetera. That and the lack of will power not to eat.... or the dedication to actually go out and exercise.

What Fresno lacks, are places that encourage the youth to actually go out and 'play'.... yes play. Kids now a days are lazy as fuck, no joke. I wish there were other places around Fresno where I could just go out and play around... more places to play sports (volleyball, basketball, hiking, bike trails, whatevah), encourage more biking, stuff like that. More parks would be nice, and it's better for the environment- although I'm pretty sure that the kids who do go there would just sit behind bushes and smoke a blunt....

I guess the other problem would be getting people to exercise and play. Everytime I drive by Clovis West, I see the P.E. classes around the track and/ or tennis court area. But 3/4 of the class are walking, talking, flirting their asses through P.E. If I were their coach, I'd make there asses RUN. Lazy bums.... Whats wrong with these kids?.... They're either too fat, or too worried about sweating, messing up their hair or shoes, or what not.Then they go home, sit on their ass and watch TV or go on the internet.

Another thing expanding.... my ass. It's tough maintaining my weight when I'm staying in Fresno. Why??Because thats all we can do here besides shop... and because my family eats like every 3 hours. They keep me busy trying to run errands, picking their lazy asses up from school, making dinner, and the list goes on, and on. I barely have time for myself. When I do, I'm trying to clear up some of my old shit, trying to see what I can of Cheng, reading/ studying, and that's about it. They have me sucked back into my original routine of when I was the older sister in high school. I don't think they realize that I'm trying to make my own life.... so that I can have a future. Its tough trying to look for jobs, studying, and applying while trying to do all the errands for a family of 6. GAHH! Its so frustrating. I want a place of my own again dammit. If I dont get this job with Centex, I'm going to get my own place. Not being able to go to the gym frustrates me even more. That was a daily ritual for me before... I'm suffering from seperation anxiety. And working out at home with your brother/ while your brother stares at you wondering what the hell you're doing doesn't really work for me. I think I'm going to go down to GB3's and enroll my jiggly ass there. I'll make it a point to get my body back to where I want it.... no, I'm not fat.... I just want my toned muscles back.

Anyways.... just had to get all that off of my chest. And now that I have.... I dont really feel much different. I'm going to go run my ass off tomorrow....